It's Jessica. We met in Shabbat at Yale. Thank you so much for sharing your story with out community. It was so lovely to meet you personally. Thanks so much for being so warm and kind to me. I felt really comfortable talking to you and telling you a bit about myself, which is a big deal. I hope our paths cross again some day.
I stumbled upon your blog last night and can't tell you how moved I am by your your story and courage. I, like you, am an "Ex-Lubavitcher". Unlike you, however, I do not have the courage to be completely open about my beliefs. While I did take some steps to pursue a "non-traditional" path, I still live a double life in many ways. I can totally relate to what you must have gone through (and are likely still going through). I am amazed by how well you write and speak given the Oholei Torah "education" that you received ( I myself was a victim of this backward educational philosophy). I am considerably older than you so I am painfully aware of the price that one pays for living "in the closet" (and I am not referring necessarily to sexuality).
On your 23rd birthday I would like to wish you abundant happiness and the courage to continue to inspire others to live lives that are true to themselves.
Its so unexpectedly heartening to see a frum contribution to the "It gets better" movement. I am especially appreciative of the courageous trailblazing that you, ML, and others have been doing over the last few years (including, but not limited to, the youtube videos, rallies/parades, interviews, articles, book contributions, etc). You have know idea how many lives you have been positively impacting- perhaps even saving!- by the simple act of being your genuine self in public, and modeling a life of integrity and congruence. One comment- from the looks of it, JQY seems to be a little "G" heavy when it comes to representing the LGBTIQ community. Where is the rest of the rainbow hiding? As a graduate of a knee-sock and pinned-collar girl's school, I think it might be interesting to explore both the overlapping and non-overlapping elements of the "gender" experience for those of us who were raised in the Orthodox community and who experience [same-sex attraction and/or gender identity questions and/or identify with a sexual orientation other than "straight"]. Just a thought.
How to deal rainbow colors Brothers feeling love for brothers Do I embrace or do I scorn Was it nurtured or inborn Always taught me to accept But now these souls I must reject The guilt roots from my own embrace For are they not of our race And are they not created from The same Image as where I come But yet, a block, a warning great That orders us to separate And throw out love and usher hate And not accept nor validate Our children who’ve been dealt this fate Our children with this on their shoulders Hate and anger fierce as boulders And so, you see, why I am torn I can’t hate just for being born But neither can I shed the scorn For I believe in GD Above And I believe He treasures love And I believe His Word Is true And He says I should love each Jew And He says I should hate the gay For they are evil in their way But are not both our souls as pure? So damned am I to stay unsure.
My name is Hadasah Havivah Zeltzer . I am a survivor and an Artist. Please check out my website TZEDECKMUSIC.COM TM, THE GEVURAH FUND TM, and THE GEVURAH ONE DOLLAR FUND SM. I am the process of working on the first fund to help survivors financially . Please check out causes.com for more info. about the THE GEVURAH ONE DOLLAR CAMPAIGN SM. I love your work and hope we can collaborate sometime. Check out this amazing Jewish "hip" Hip Hop artist from Boston he is really cool and he brings a message of hope. Hope to connect soon.
I am a successful, well-liked 20 year old "beis yaakov" girl. I have always identified (internally) as more male than female, though it hasn't caused much mental or spiritual anxiety since my parents allowed me to be a "tomboy." Now that I'm in the "real" world, however, (I work for a powerful business firm), and entering the age of marriage, I am more and more conflicted about my identity. I feel that if I was not frum, I would definetely be transgender, however, I value my judiaism too much. As an aside, I am attracted to men. I don't know where to turn. I feel so conflicted, since I feel like I am all wrong, and I am starting to hate my body. Chaim- have you ever spoken to people in this situation?
I'm sorry to hear about what you're going through!
It's important to remember that you are NOT alone in going through this and yes, I have spoken to many people in this situation.
If you would be ok with emailing me directly (feel free to use an anonymous name if you need to), I'd be happy to provide any support that I can and also direct you to others and resources that can definitely point you in the right direction.
Hi Chiam,
ReplyDeleteIt's Jessica. We met in Shabbat at Yale. Thank you so much for sharing your story with out community. It was so lovely to meet you personally. Thanks so much for being so warm and kind to me. I felt really comfortable talking to you and telling you a bit about myself, which is a big deal. I hope our paths cross again some day.
Hello Chaim,
ReplyDeleteI stumbled upon your blog last night and can't tell you how moved I am by your your story and courage. I, like you, am an "Ex-Lubavitcher". Unlike you, however, I do not have the courage to be completely open about my beliefs. While I did take some steps to pursue a "non-traditional" path, I still live a double life in many ways. I can totally relate to what you must have gone through (and are likely still going through). I am amazed by how well you write and speak given the Oholei Torah "education" that you received ( I myself was a victim of this backward educational philosophy). I am considerably older than you so I am painfully aware of the price that one pays for living "in the closet" (and I am not referring necessarily to sexuality).
On your 23rd birthday I would like to wish you abundant happiness and the courage to continue to inspire others to live lives that are true to themselves.
Chaim-
ReplyDeleteIts so unexpectedly heartening to see a frum contribution to the "It gets better" movement. I am especially appreciative of the courageous trailblazing that you, ML, and others have been doing over the last few years (including, but not limited to, the youtube videos, rallies/parades, interviews, articles, book contributions, etc). You have know idea how many lives you have been positively impacting- perhaps even saving!- by the simple act of being your genuine self in public, and modeling a life of integrity and congruence. One comment- from the looks of it, JQY seems to be a little "G" heavy when it comes to representing the LGBTIQ community. Where is the rest of the rainbow hiding? As a graduate of a knee-sock and pinned-collar girl's school, I think it might be interesting to explore both the overlapping and non-overlapping elements of the "gender" experience for those of us who were raised in the Orthodox community and who experience [same-sex attraction and/or gender identity questions and/or identify with a sexual orientation other than "straight"]. Just a thought.
I found your blog and am adding it to my resources.
ReplyDeleteHi Chaim
ReplyDeleteI sent you à mail un your mail adress
Coule you pléiade read it ?
Could you please read it
ReplyDeleteHow to deal rainbow colors
ReplyDeleteBrothers feeling love for brothers
Do I embrace or do I scorn
Was it nurtured or inborn
Always taught me to accept
But now these souls I must reject
The guilt roots from my own embrace
For are they not of our race
And are they not created from
The same Image as where I come
But yet, a block, a warning great
That orders us to separate
And throw out love and usher hate
And not accept nor validate
Our children who’ve been dealt this fate
Our children with this on their shoulders
Hate and anger fierce as boulders
And so, you see, why I am torn
I can’t hate just for being born
But neither can I shed the scorn
For I believe in GD Above
And I believe He treasures love
And I believe His Word Is true
And He says I should love each Jew
And He says I should hate the gay
For they are evil in their way
But are not both our souls as pure?
So damned am I to stay unsure.
Hi Chaim,
ReplyDeleteMy name is Hadasah Havivah Zeltzer . I am a survivor and an Artist. Please check out my website TZEDECKMUSIC.COM TM, THE GEVURAH FUND TM, and THE GEVURAH ONE DOLLAR FUND SM. I am the process of working on the first fund to help survivors financially . Please check out causes.com for more info. about the THE GEVURAH ONE DOLLAR CAMPAIGN SM. I love your work and hope we can collaborate sometime. Check out this amazing Jewish "hip" Hip Hop artist from Boston he is really cool and he brings a message of hope. Hope to connect soon.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=pRjdyV--4p0
https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=pRjdyV--4p0
https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=pRjdyV--4p0
All the best,
Hadssah Havivah Zeltzer
TZEDECKMUSIC.COM TM
I am a successful, well-liked 20 year old "beis yaakov" girl.
ReplyDeleteI have always identified (internally) as more male than female, though it hasn't caused much mental or spiritual anxiety since my parents allowed me to be a "tomboy."
Now that I'm in the "real" world, however, (I work for a powerful business firm), and entering the age of marriage, I am more and more conflicted about my identity.
I feel that if I was not frum, I would definetely be transgender, however, I value my judiaism too much. As an aside, I am attracted to men.
I don't know where to turn. I feel so conflicted, since I feel like I am all wrong, and I am starting to hate my body.
Chaim- have you ever spoken to people in this situation?
Hi there,
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry to hear about what you're going through!
It's important to remember that you are NOT alone in going through this and yes, I have spoken to many people in this situation.
If you would be ok with emailing me directly (feel free to use an anonymous name if you need to), I'd be happy to provide any support that I can and also direct you to others and resources that can definitely point you in the right direction.
Best regards,
Chaim Levin
chaim89@gmail.com