the lotus grows from the mud
rising above vitiating waters toward the light
opening one petal at a time —
beautiful, vital and undefiled
Please lend your voice to the voiceless and share your messages and stories of hope.
I know that you cannot live on hope alone, but without it, life is not worth living.... And you, and you, and you gotta give 'em hope. —Harvey Milk.
Inspired by Milk, I offer this website to anyone who feels alone, confused, unwanted and unaccepted.
One of my favorite poems that gives hope:
ReplyDelete"Heart, My Lovely Hobo" by Sandra Cisneros
Heart, my lovely hobo, you
Remember, then, that afternoon in Venice
When all the pigeons rose flooding the piazza
Like a vaulted ceiling. That was you
and you alone who grinned.
Fat as an oyster,
pulpy as a plum,
raw, exposed, naïve,
dumb. As if love
could be curbed, and grace
could save you from the daily beatings.
Those blue jewels of flowers in the arbor
that the bees loved. Oh, there’ll be other
flowers, a cat maybe beside the bougainvillea,
a little boat with flags glittering in the harbor
to make you laugh,
to make you spiral once more.
Not this throbbing.
This.
Coming out to my dad. A story of hope...
ReplyDeleteLast week I had a conversation with my father. We were discussing the challenges I am having in my relationship with my wife. He did not know about my struggles with homosexuality. We had discussed the marital struggles before but I could not be forthright because I wouldn't share the gay piece. I would always just ask him to respect that I couldn't share everything with him.
However after being asked alot of questions this past time and really not being able to answer; I finally said to myself, it's time, I don't have much to lose at this point. I said to my father something like, "you have been saying that you want to be there for me 24/7, that you will always love me unconditionally. If you truly want to know what I am going through I will be challenging those ideals". I asked him if he was prepared to hear something very difficult. Without a beat he said yes. It took me a minute or two but I finally got it out.
I told him I truly believed that I am homosexual. I shares with him the struggles I've had through the years. Again without missing a beat he said something like this; "I feel horrible for the pain that you have been through. I can't even imagine what it's been like and I am hurting for you." He continued by relaying to me that there is nothing I can tell him that will make him love me any less.
I cried.... Alot.
We went on to talking about issues I had with my upbringing; the bullying in school, the abuse in camp. I had no one to turn to. He told me that he wished he could turn back time and be a better father for me and he's so sorry that there is no switch he can flip to turn back time. He said that even though he knows that he could have been a better person and father, he knows that he is a different person now and that he will love me unconditionally until 120.
To put this into perspective, my father is a "type A" personality. He is as much of a man as a man could be (in societies view). He is and always has been an orthodox Jew and the child of holocaust survivors. I am not sure what I was expecting but this was not it. He did not have a word of doubt or criticism. He did not ask me if I am sure. He did not recommend therapy etc... He just acknowledged his love for me no matter what.
For the last 4 days since this conversation, I have spoken to him many times and he has not wavered. When I now say "I love you" to him, I mean it with all my heart. I am blown away by what took place and I am so incredibly thankful. Within my God struggle, for the first time in a long time, I felt compelled to say thank you to him.
I am not sure where things will go with my wife or my dad for that matter but for the first time in my 35+ years of life I can finally say and feel with all my heart, "I have a father".
that's a beautiful story! thank you for sharing...
ReplyDeleteHow to deal rainbow colors
ReplyDeleteBrothers feeling love for brothers
Do I embrace or do I scorn
Was it nurtured or inborn
Always taught me to accept
But now these souls I must reject
The guilt roots from my own embrace
For are they not of our race
And are they not created from
The same Image as where I come
But yet, a block, a warning great
That orders us to separate
And throw out love and usher hate
And not accept nor validate
Our children who’ve been dealt this fate
Our children with this on their shoulders
Hate and anger fierce as boulders
And so, you see, why I am torn
I can’t hate just for being born
But neither can I shed the scorn
For I believe in GD Above
And I believe He treasures love
And I believe His Word Is true
And He says I should love each Jew
And He says I should hate the gay
For they are evil in their way
But are not both our souls as pure?
So damned am I to stay unsure.