I know that you cannot live on hope alone, but without it, life is not worth living.... And you, and you, and you gotta give 'em hope. —Harvey Milk.
Coming out to my dad. A story of hope...Last week I had a conversation with my father. We were discussing the challenges I am having in my relationship with my wife. He did not know about my struggles with homosexuality. We had discussed the marital struggles before but I could not be forthright because I wouldn't share the gay piece. I would always just ask him to respect that I couldn't share everything with him. However after being asked alot of questions this past time and really not being able to answer; I finally said to myself, it's time, I don't have much to lose at this point. I said to my father something like, "you have been saying that you want to be there for me 24/7, that you will always love me unconditionally. If you truly want to know what I am going through I will be challenging those ideals". I asked him if he was prepared to hear something very difficult. Without a beat he said yes. It took me a minute or two but I finally got it out.I told him I truly believed that I am homosexual. I shares with him the struggles I've had through the years. Again without missing a beat he said something like this; "I feel horrible for the pain that you have been through. I can't even imagine what it's been like and I am hurting for you." He continued by relaying to me that there is nothing I can tell him that will make him love me any less. I cried.... Alot.We went on to talking about issues I had with my upbringing; the bullying in school, the abuse in camp. I had no one to turn to. He told me that he wished he could turn back time and be a better father for me and he's so sorry that there is no switch he can flip to turn back time. He said that even though he knows that he could have been a better person and father, he knows that he is a different person now and that he will love me unconditionally until 120. To put this into perspective, my father is a "type A" personality. He is as much of a man as a man could be (in societies view). He is and always has been an orthodox Jew and the child of holocaust survivors. I am not sure what I was expecting but this was not it. He did not have a word of doubt or criticism. He did not ask me if I am sure. He did not recommend therapy etc... He just acknowledged his love for me no matter what. For the last 4 days since this conversation, I have spoken to him many times and he has not wavered. When I now say "I love you" to him, I mean it with all my heart. I am blown away by what took place and I am so incredibly thankful. Within my God struggle, for the first time in a long time, I felt compelled to say thank you to him. I am not sure where things will go with my wife or my dad for that matter but for the first time in my 35+ years of life I can finally say and feel with all my heart, "I have a father".
that's a beautiful story! thank you for sharing...
How to deal rainbow colorsBrothers feeling love for brothersDo I embrace or do I scornWas it nurtured or inbornAlways taught me to acceptBut now these souls I must rejectThe guilt roots from my own embraceFor are they not of our raceAnd are they not created fromThe same Image as where I comeBut yet, a block, a warning greatThat orders us to separateAnd throw out love and usher hateAnd not accept nor validateOur children who’ve been dealt this fateOur children with this on their shouldersHate and anger fierce as bouldersAnd so, you see, why I am tornI can’t hate just for being bornBut neither can I shed the scornFor I believe in GD AboveAnd I believe He treasures loveAnd I believe His Word Is trueAnd He says I should love each JewAnd He says I should hate the gayFor they are evil in their wayBut are not both our souls as pure?So damned am I to stay unsure.
Your Father absolutely handled this outstanding as a father should, he most be a very smart man. but my advice as a stranger, man to man, since you're an orthodox Jew and married with kids, use your smart father to help you to maybe change( I don't know if that's even possible since i'm not in your shoes) or keep it unexposed the way it was till now. And its also good that you know almost everyone if not everyone has problems and understandings with their spouse, I might be that you just know that you're gay and putting it all on to this. Please only take this for what its worth to you , forgive me if I heart anyone
Betrayed hurt painof my own community family madnesscrippling politics and their ignoramus gamesleaving me in the wetI have become disenchanted by their boastfulness"Celebrating" at peoples shortcomings I am being sucked into the abyssan abyss which I keep on fightingReligion, what defines it?Is it something that is cursed and teaches hate and decietor is it about empowerment love and acceptancepeople mar religion by acting cursedIt is easier for me to see the darknessI cant see the light on the horizonI am fighting I am empowered too chooseCan't make it right here
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