Skip to main content

Your Stories of Hope

the lotus grows from the mud
rising above vitiating waters toward the light
opening one petal at a time 
beautiful, vital and undefiled

Please lend your voice to the voiceless and share your messages and stories of hope.


  1. Coming out to my dad. A story of hope...

    Last week I had a conversation with my father. We were discussing the challenges I am having in my relationship with my wife. He did not know about my struggles with homosexuality. We had discussed the marital struggles before but I could not be forthright because I wouldn't share the gay piece. I would always just ask him to respect that I couldn't share everything with him.

    However after being asked alot of questions this past time and really not being able to answer; I finally said to myself, it's time, I don't have much to lose at this point. I said to my father something like, "you have been saying that you want to be there for me 24/7, that you will always love me unconditionally. If you truly want to know what I am going through I will be challenging those ideals". I asked him if he was prepared to hear something very difficult. Without a beat he said yes. It took me a minute or two but I finally got it out.

    I told him I truly believed that I am homosexual. I shares with him the struggles I've had through the years. Again without missing a beat he said something like this; "I feel horrible for the pain that you have been through. I can't even imagine what it's been like and I am hurting for you." He continued by relaying to me that there is nothing I can tell him that will make him love me any less.

    I cried.... Alot.

    We went on to talking about issues I had with my upbringing; the bullying in school, the abuse in camp. I had no one to turn to. He told me that he wished he could turn back time and be a better father for me and he's so sorry that there is no switch he can flip to turn back time. He said that even though he knows that he could have been a better person and father, he knows that he is a different person now and that he will love me unconditionally until 120.

    To put this into perspective, my father is a "type A" personality. He is as much of a man as a man could be (in societies view). He is and always has been an orthodox Jew and the child of holocaust survivors. I am not sure what I was expecting but this was not it. He did not have a word of doubt or criticism. He did not ask me if I am sure. He did not recommend therapy etc... He just acknowledged his love for me no matter what.

    For the last 4 days since this conversation, I have spoken to him many times and he has not wavered. When I now say "I love you" to him, I mean it with all my heart. I am blown away by what took place and I am so incredibly thankful. Within my God struggle, for the first time in a long time, I felt compelled to say thank you to him.

    I am not sure where things will go with my wife or my dad for that matter but for the first time in my 35+ years of life I can finally say and feel with all my heart, "I have a father".

  2. that's a beautiful story! thank you for sharing...

  3. How to deal rainbow colors
    Brothers feeling love for brothers
    Do I embrace or do I scorn
    Was it nurtured or inborn
    Always taught me to accept
    But now these souls I must reject
    The guilt roots from my own embrace
    For are they not of our race
    And are they not created from
    The same Image as where I come
    But yet, a block, a warning great
    That orders us to separate
    And throw out love and usher hate
    And not accept nor validate
    Our children who’ve been dealt this fate
    Our children with this on their shoulders
    Hate and anger fierce as boulders
    And so, you see, why I am torn
    I can’t hate just for being born
    But neither can I shed the scorn
    For I believe in GD Above
    And I believe He treasures love
    And I believe His Word Is true
    And He says I should love each Jew
    And He says I should hate the gay
    For they are evil in their way
    But are not both our souls as pure?
    So damned am I to stay unsure.

  4. Your Father absolutely handled this outstanding as a father should, he most be a very smart man. but my advice as a stranger, man to man, since you're an orthodox Jew and married with kids, use your smart father to help you to maybe change( I don't know if that's even possible since i'm not in your shoes) or keep it unexposed the way it was till now. And its also good that you know almost everyone if not everyone has problems and understandings with their spouse, I might be that you just know that you're gay and putting it all on to this. Please only take this for what its worth to you , forgive me if I heart anyone

  5. Betrayed hurt pain
    of my own community family madness
    crippling politics and their ignoramus games
    leaving me in the wet
    I have become disenchanted by their boastfulness
    "Celebrating" at peoples shortcomings
    I am being sucked into the abyss
    an abyss which I keep on fighting
    Religion, what defines it?
    Is it something that is cursed and teaches hate and deciet
    or is it about empowerment love and acceptance
    people mar religion by acting cursed
    It is easier for me to see the darkness
    I cant see the light on the horizon
    I am fighting
    I am empowered too choose
    Can't make it right here


Post a Comment

Feel free to post any comment or questions. Negative commentary that does not serve a useful purpose will be deleted.

Popular posts from this blog


I am publishing this letter today to notify the public of an individual named Tuvia Perlman and the immediate threat he poses to the safety of any and all children in his vicinity. I first met Mr. Perlman when I was 18 while attending an organization called JONAH (a Jewish conversion therapy organization that was shut down in 2015 after losing a lawsuit). When I met Mr. Perlman, we were on a retreat together called Journey Into Manhood, this retreat was facilitated by an organization called People Can Change. After this retreat, Mr. Perlman, who lived in Baltimore used to call me often, to the point where even at that time I felt extremely uncomfortable by his calls and long voicemails. Mr. Perlman as far as I knew at that time, had recently stopped being a teacher at a cheder (Hebrew word for elementary school). In a group setting that was facilitated on by JONAH on their premises in 2007, Mr. Perlman admitted to the entire group that he molested at least 2 of his 12/13-year-old stu…

Sharing Stories With Deborah Feldman

Discussing plans for our futures, finding the humor in our similar and traumatic pasts and enjoying uncommon empathy, Deborah Feldman and I had coffee on the Upper East Side on a bright Friday morning. My time with her was a refreshing pleasure and an honor. She is the author of the New York Times bestselling Unorthodox: The Scandalous Rejection of my Hasidic Roots. Deborah helped me with something that I’ve been trying to navigate lately. Deborah reminded that I’m not an ex gay survivor, an ex Chabad, a gay man, a Jew, an activist, etc.; she told me that who I am is just Chaim Levin — who just also happens to have an interesting story to share and an opportunity to inspire change. She insisted that we all have our own lives and personalities that we must care for, cultivate and celebrate.

Deborah had entered mainstream media a few months ago with her fascinating memoir. I haven’t had a chance to finish reading her book yet; in fact, I just started the other day. But with every page, I…

Update on Tuvia Perlman

On Tuesday, I published a Facebook post about a man named Tuvia Perlman, who worked as a teacher and a choir director in Milwaukee after moving there from Baltimore. Mr. Perlman admitted to molesting multiple minors; he made this admission in a room full of people that included myself, this was in 2007. Mr. Perlman made these admissions to multiple people on multiple occasions. It was just 4 days prior to writing and publishing said post that I found out he had relocated to Milwaukee from Baltimore a few years ago and had been working with children in Milwaukee both as a teacher, choir director, and private tutor up until this past summer. What I said in that post and what I will say again here, is that it isn't something like god (or whatever higher power you'd like to refer to), that enables such a dangerous situation to happen. It's the silence of community leaders like Rabbi Bentzion Twerski who was warned by someone in Baltimore that Mr. Perlman posed a danger to chi…